Very Torn

We have researched and found out lots of details surrounding the potential match opportunity, from a few days ago, with our new 2nd agency.  The baby has a rare heart defect and there was much to learn and keep in mind.  We prayerfully considered this opportunity, but we feel it is not right for us.  We hope and pray for the birthmom in finding the perfect adoptive family, for her little guy to be born in Oct. We also pray for the baby and his well being.  We know he will have a long and difficult road ahead.  The good news is that this birthmother has three doctors who are closely monitoring the baby and she is getting the best care possible.  Although we've been so torn on this, it is somewhat comforting to know he'll be in good hands. 

The wait continues and we have more faith than ever now!

The Search is On!

It is official, we now have a 2nd adoption agency!  I met with the two directors this morning and shared our profiles.  They loved them and thought our information was presented well.  I was glad to hear that!
This new agency even presented a special match opportunity to me before I left.  I won't go into details now, but it is something Scott and I have to really think about.  Nevertheless, we feel good about our increased odds and the higher chance for being matched and a placement happening sooner. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Now Things Are Moving...

What seemed like an eternity ago, is finally starting to come together.  I had contacted a 2nd agency back in June and they were willing to take us into their Search Program.  All we had to do was give them 5 of our profiles, sign release forms, have our other agency send our homestudy and other documents and we'd be all set.  Sounded easy and simple enough to get done in a week, week and a half tops, right? Oh, think again! I should know these things take time by now.  I never learn! Well, the good news is... we are almost there.  Our paperwork arrived at the new agency yesterday.  Scott was able to set an appointment for first thing Monday morning to drop off our profiles, and a big, fat check, and let the search begin!  So, I finally feel like the wheels are in motion to increase our chances of being matched with a birthmom.  A couple weeks ago, when I read Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman, (scroll down a few posts back) I honed in on a particlar phrase that was very meaningful to me.  I connected with her when she said she didn't know how she was possibly going to live with the loss of her little girl.  Mary Beth said she prayed to God to somehow show them the way to take small steps, or leave bread crumbs of hope that they would make it through each day.  Bread crumbs of hope. LOVE that!  I prayed for exactly that.  Once I saw how long this was going to take, I just said to God,
give us some signs, light the way, sprinkle some bread crumbs to let us know, this will all work out.  I try so desperately to have faith.  Most days I do, but I am human.  God has certainly been sprinkling several crumbs of hope our way!  I am so very thankful for those.  I can not wait to find the "whole loaf" soon!

New Blog for my Teacher Peeps!

All my teacher friends (and everyone else) know what a big computer nerd I am!  The laptop is glued to my body pretty much everyday until Baby McBride comes.  I'm totally infatuated with all things blogs! Crazy I tell ya!  So, here is the link/button for my new blog. (click the square below)  It's appropriately named, "Starbucks, Standards, & Sharpies".  What I live, breath, and drink for 9 months of the year practically!  (not necessarily in that order)  And no, I'm not sniffin' the Sharpies! I just use them constantly! Enjoy all my teacher peeps! (and anyone else!)

"Honey, We're Going to Taco Bell for Dinner!"...

So, I'm folding laundry, listening to the news... and what do I hear?  A lady in Washington was trying to sell her 3 day old baby to customers.  Get this, the starting bid was $500!  Here is the link:   http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/07/19/2011-07-19_wash_state_woman_tried_to_sell_3dayold_baby_at_taco_bell_desperate_mom_wanted_50.html

What a bargain compared to the money hungry agencies who wanted $10,000 just for marketing alone!  Holy Cow!  Talk about an opportunity I would have LOVED DIED to have taken advantage of!  Man, if only I could've been there when she asked that question!  Oh well, back to folding towels... "Honey, let's go to Taco Bell for dinner tonight!".

Choosing to SEE

I have been wanting to read "Choosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman  (wife of Christian singer/songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman) for a while now. It is her story of struggles in her life, both happy and tragic.  She shares the deepest thoughts and feelings as she is forced to wrestle with some of life's biggest questions: Where is God when things fall apart?  Why does God allow terrible things to happen?  How can you survive hard times?  Questions I have pondered with events in my life as well.  I'm sure many of you have often wondered the same things.  She is very candid and I highly recommend reading it.  You will need a box of tissues though!  I saw Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman on t.v. being interviewed about the book last winter.  I was instantly drawn in to their experience of adopting three little girls from China.  I wanted to hear their perspectives.  But then, the basis for the whole book was about the death of one of their little girls.  Even though I knew it was going to have sad parts, the way she explained how she dealt with the loss and how she still looked to God was incredible.  I checked the book out at the library on Monday, and today is Wednesday, I'm on chapter 35 already with about 50 some pages to go.  I'll be done tomorrow no doubt!  This is just one of those books you can't stop reading! (at least for me)  Here is a link to Mary Beth's site and a short video about the book.  http://marybethchapman.com/?page_id=74

I wasn't going to say anything,but...

O.k., I  wasn't going to say anything, but this whole Casey Anthony case is just sad. Sad.  I don't know what else to call it. If the trial had happened during the school year, I probably wouldn't know so much about it.   Plus the fact that it was practically on every single station, it was hard to escape it. (In between watching Regis and Kelly, The Proposal (again for the 27th time), and I'm ashamed to admit also watching reruns of Sex and the City and Keeping Up with the Kardashian's.  What is wrong with me?!) Part of me has a real hard time looking at her and thinking, "Really? You got to be a mom?"  How is that fair?  From my position and all the hoops we've had to jump through to "prove" ourselves worthy of being parents, it just sickens me that beautiful little girl is gone.  I don't think we'll ever know all the details, but Scott and I both agree that she will be judged by Him one day.  The ultimate consequences will fit the crime in the end.  And now... now, get this... they are contemplating creating a law, called Caylee's Law, proposing two new federal offenses: failure of a parent to notify authorities of a missing child within 24 hours and failure to report a child's death within one hour.  REALLY?!  Are you kidding me?!  Has our society gotten to the point that you actually have to start making common sense into laws? Yes, otherwise, why would we have to take 30 hours of parenting classes, have FBI and background checks, be fingerprinted, etc... I could go on and on, I had to vent.  Sorry, but sometimes you just reach a point when you say, enough already.  Ironically, as I type this, Natalie Sulaman (a.k.a "Octomom") was being interviewed on the news and the kids were EVERYWHERE into EVERYTHING on the set.  Four other news anchors and cameramen had to intervene and round up the little cuties.  OMG does she have her hands full!  That's a whole other blog post on that situation! (BTW... I'll take one of those little ones off your hands, I'm not greedy.  I just want ONE! 

Are We Tough Enough to Adopt?

Part of our support along this adoption journey includes lots of reading; books, articles, blogs, etc...  This particular article pretty much describes us and nearly everything we have been through thus far.  Some aspects are not related to us or don't apply, but 99% is "us" in a nutshell.   Here is the link:  http://foreverparents.com/2011/06/are-you-tough-enough-to-adopt-part-1.html
So, do I think we are tough enough to adopt?  Heck yeah I DO!  We are in it for the long haul, we've come so far.  We continue to have faith & pray everyday.  Thank you to all our family and friends who continue to support us with your prayers and thoughts.  We wouldn't be as "tough" as we are today, without all of you!